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I also think that if marriage outside the covenant is a sin, it is not so grave as to be unforgivable.
If your relationship is moving forward, or she suggests doing something more expensive, it is not inappropriate for her to help pay as well. Never marry someone with the goal of a post-marriage conversion.
She is in pretty deep and culture is a powerful force. Here are my thoughts as someone who grew up with a non-mormon father and as someone who married a non-mormon girl.
Forget what anyone else says or expects of you.