As a matter of fact, you can begin here. You should take your cues from your partner, not from documentaries or this sub, on whether your partner's views and actions are manipulative, brainwashy and damaging.
I feel your pain people.
However, we rarely ever see each other and don't talk that much in between. Although there are no strict rules as to who should do the asking, the Mormons are very conservative and in general, they expect guys to do the asking.