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Eventually, he gives up on trying to get into the building without a key, so he waits on the porch while I get out of bed and strap on my least sexy accessory: It takes a few minutes to put on, and it makes me look a bit like a cyborg — eliciting plenty of stares when I wear it in public — but it helps me get leg and down cast stairs when I absolutely need to, which, apparently, is cast now.

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My cast really should have charged a performance fee.

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