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It will definitely take patience to work through any of this with her but it sounds like she's a pretty awesome person. It hurts me the most when my kids ask me why they haven't see daddy in days.
Accept yourself, and feel God accepting you, and everything else will follow.
The Church encourages people to be a good influence on one another, and she will probably expect you to dress well for her. In many ways, you yield some authority to the church.
She's such a martyr and a great person for doing this. It does not come from common religion or personality or even values; it only comes through mutual self transcendence.
A lot of shared hobbies, interests, life goals.
Hopefully, your ex-boyfriend will realize that your relationship, emotional support, etc.