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Don't fall in love with a married man. If you do end up having sexual relations, she will feel guilty, and it will affect your relationship, you can count on that.
He was gone by 6: I was left to manage the house, the finances, the kids' schedules and what little time was left over for my own interests. I'm glad you both have found a way to get past the incredible forces that are working against you.
You are brave and good people and seem to be raising wonderful children who will be lights for everyone with whom they come in contact. It may change your relationship to them forever.