You must either really love blue balls, or else she is not a real deal Mormon girl. I agree with what you and so many of the other replies have said: Listen with an open heart and curiosity. I think you need to figure out if you are willing to stay in a relationship with a man who's so busy, because trust me, it's not going to change anytime soon. I decided to sort of play along because she was amazing and I didn't believe some of the things she was telling me she actually believed. I think we need to steer far away from medicine…. This makes them overwhelmingly successful wives and mothers. Vh65, your marriage is a black swan. To sum up, they're incapable of loving anyone but themselves and the thought of a marriage counselor freaks them out as this would mean confronting their ultimate excuse of "I'm too busy".
And you must be honest in your conversation with God about it. No sex before marriage. I think the only thing that can possibly be worse is if he was working in a different country. I hope that you have left him at this point, and that you are happy. Just as secular marriages have problems, so do temple marriages. So I knew what I was getting into when I married him though I secretly hoped he would still convert back. Married to a Surgeon as well. My dad was in the bishopric for most of my childhood, and I was never the person you describe here.
I'd rather marry a doctor and let him have a mistress on the side if that means not having to worry about money. This is tough enough when the kids are babies, but when they're older - teenagers - you'll get to tackle all of the hormone-fueled angst, drama, school difficulties, homework, school activities, and be the scapegoat when the kids get mad at you. All you care about is the paycheck.
It was a huge shock to me and caused a lot of worry on my part. It's a gross feeling. The big one is that under Mormon theology both of you must be believing, fully active members to live together in the afterlife. I can honestly say I wish he stayed were he was it has been a long road. Even if the church believes a bunch of crazy nonsense, and she believes it too, I still really like her and would like to see whether we can have some good intellectual conversations about this stuff. We're giving it to you straight because we hope to help you avoid the heartache many of us have experience due to the harmful teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.