I realize I rambled a bit and may not have answered all your questions; feel free to ask anything else you want to know.
The hospital had become, by his own admission, his "family", and he had virtually abandoned us to this demanding career. Whenever you bring something up, they'll say if it's not on lds.
I believe when you die, you die, and you live on in memories and hearts. Not all of us are able to achieve that ideal but we are to strive for it.
I'm really glad I found this post today. By those standards, I was a failure, my husband wasn't "good enough" - and my daughter had ambitious real goals that required a lot of time and effort.